Letting go of the desire to succeed, own & possess... is difficult but liberating

Success will not make us happy but community & the small moments will

Is success a good thing?

We’re told that our happiness hinges on us being successful & achieving certain milestones— educational degrees (preferably from elite “top-ranked” institutions), a high-paying job, awards/ accolades/ recognition, a position of power, fame, money, material possessions (house, land, car, access to opulence & luxury), a romantic relationship/ nuclear family/ children & a white-picket fence life maybe. Select achievements like these are considered worthy of praise, applaud & celebration — but why & at what cost?

I, too, naively chased these milestones for so long & made them the center of my universe. I sacrificed my body/ mind/ soul, my need for community & connection, let it define me & destroy my health, ignored the ancestral voice deep in me & the many signs from the cosmos that said “this is not the way, this will never make you happy”. I was focused on the end, never the means. Granted I often did it for survival but other times, it was all I had ever known & I pursued validation under the guise of “this is the right thing to do”. I even told myself, my ancestors’ wildest dreams was watching me succeed (yikes!)… all because I thought one day, all the sacrifices & pain will be worth it.

But alas, the pursuit of success is a capitalist trap… a carrot dangled in front of you, a false promise, a blackhole that is designed to consume you & disappoint.

“Success” is almost always about climbing the ladder to get a stamp of approval & some form of ultimate validation from capitalist systems or the state. Should we be aspiring to & celebrating success? Is it healthy for us as individuals or for our communities to pat ourselves on the back whenever powerful institutions (including universities), companies/ corporations, “major brands”, or some form of authority gives us a gold star? Does it really aid us in our long-term pursuit of happiness & sustainable contentment? When we selectively celebrate certain milestones… what does that tell us about the things we don’t celebrate? What messages are we internalizing & subliminally sending each other each time we applaud individual success under capitalism?

What about the daily small, overlooked moments of authentic connection in community— concocting & enjoying a hearty ancestral meal with friends, an emotionally vulnerable conversation, dragging yourself out of bed even if these systems weighed heavy on your chest, welcoming the waves & variations of spring flower blooms, that precise moment when a song deeply resonates & reverberates through your entire body & soul, feeling alive at cultural festivals bursting with vibrant traditions, making someone laugh, holding a friend close overcoming notions that intimacy is reserved for romantic relationships, noticing the intricacies of bird calls & realizing they’re celebrating the coming of spring too, moving through conflict in a regenerative way that catalyzes mutual growth… aren’t these daily moments worthy of celebration? They anchor us in our community & ecosystems rather than hinge our joy on obtaining validation from oppressive systems.

Past all the superficial layers- at the end of the day, what is it that we’re all chasing & desperately seeking in life?