The point of life is to live (& die) for something greater than yourself, for liberation
We have to make it matter. What is your role in the struggle for liberation?
Purposefully dressed in the violent garb of the empire that forced his complicity, “Free Palestine. Free Palestine” he screamed with conviction, wailing in pain as the flames engulfed him, “Free Palestine” he shouted again with unyielding resolve, his last words before he collapsed, his burnt body still ablaze, unable to produce words anymore, cops/ secret service agents standing by, pointing their guns and yelling orders at his immobile dying body, someone shouts “I don’t need guns. I need a fire extinguisher.” America, in a nutshell.
Aaron forced the empire to look by simply looking more like the empire’s ideal subject while defying, rejecting, disobeying the empire’s commands by calling for the liberation of Palestine.
Aaron was not a hero. There are no heroes in a revolution and his words emphasized that. “Compared to what people have been experiencing in Palestine at the hands of their colonizers, it’s not extreme at all”, he said. The revolution is made up of ordinary, working class, poor people fighting for liberation, playing their role(s), en masse. Aaron played his role the best he could. He chose death in the name of Palestine rather than a life of self-centered complacency, willful ignorance and complicity which is in itself an undignified, hollow life or rather a slow meaningless death. Aaron’s self-immolation was an extreme, devastating, bold, brave, intentional act of protest. His last words were “Free Palestine.” That is where our focus should remain.
Aaron’s sacrifice is an invitation to look in the mirror, reckon with our fragility, kill our egos and deepen our commitment to the struggle for collective liberation. Most importantly, millions of Palestinians who were/ are brutalized and the countless resistance fighters who live and die for the cause have invited you to do the same. There are many communities in the global south fighting relentlessly and dying to give our planet, our home, us, a chance to live with more dignity, safety and freedom. I need you to sit with that. I need you to ask yourself- What is your role in the struggle for liberation? What is your role in serving the collective, caring for people & the land? What steps can you take to figure that out by seeking connection and building community? And this is not really a selfless sacrifice. The struggle will give you meaning, purpose and a reason to live & fight. It will anchor you to and within the collective, ground you, support you, make you YOU.
You can already see the undeniable, widespread impact this has had. Many people in the west are thoroughly taken aback by Aaron’s actions. Some are awe struck, praising him, and acknowledging the bravery in martyrdom. While I have more to say about people pathologizing or criticizing Aaron below, I want to start by naming that it pains & hurts me to see the disproportionate attention this has received, especially from people in the west, liberals, privileged people, white people, etc.
Palestinians who make up the resistance factions, the vulnerable & unfathomably brave children who survived the genocide long enough to do something about it— they are sacrificing their lives for Palestinian liberation and by extension, for us all. Their choice is to resist or be annihilated. Everyday, so many of these incredibly generous, kind, loving, selfless, brave human beings get up in the face of Israhelli tanks, snipers, drones, bombs & death machines and fight for a future where Palestine is free, knowing that they will be killed. Most of them are in their early 20s. They started throwing rocks at deadly tanks as young children. Their whole existence, every second of every minute, is dedicated to a cause far greater than themselves. What can we learn from them? Can we be inspired to embody even a fraction of that collectivism? Because if we do decide to devote ourselves to liberation, to a cause far greater than ourselves, it will give a real reason and pathway to live and die with dignity.
These Palestinian freedom fighters have never received such bold, vocal, intentional support, appreciation, validation and admiration. If anything, I notice that some people who are now commending Aaron once condemned, critiqued or overlooked the revolutionary role, courage, creativity, resilience, skill, strategic innovation, and devotion of the Palestinian resistance factions. Resistance is the ultimate form of love. Remember that. And collectivist communities at the frontlines fighting the worst forms of colonialism know and embody this love.
Take a minute to watch this.
Trust me, I see Aaron. I am wrecked and inspired. I want us to see the sacrifices that people with privilege make in the heart of the empire when they relinquish and leverage that privilege for liberation of the most oppressed. I simply want you all to see the millions of Black and Brown people who live and die for our liberation, too.
I’m tearing up simply thinking about the fact that Palestinian freedom fighters give everything they have to the struggle for liberation (not just theirs, but yours & mine too) but go unseen, unnamed and unacknowledged, if not labeled as savages & terrorists. It’s tragic and unbelievably unjust. I want to scream. In a world where Palestine is free, I am free & you are free. How do people not see that? These fighters— working with scraps, shreds, bare bones, chronically ill under the occupation, lacking basic survival resources, disabled, tired, hungry, eternally grieving death after death of loved ones, demonized & hunted by colonial regimes, sit there in the dead of the night, devoted & fighting for a future where we can all be free. Do we fully get that? The scale and long-term impact of their sacrifice. We owe them everything. We will never know the full extent of their generosity.
And WE have a critical role to play in this fight. Start by being brave, unabashed, firm and vocal in your support of the Palestinian resistance. Name, honor and learn from their selfless love for people and the land. It matters. Let it inspire you and ignite a flame in your heart that crushes & overcomes the illusions & fears holding you back from wholly dedicating yourself to this joint struggle for our liberation. What is your role in the revolution and how can you figure it out in community?
Some reflection questions I would love to read your answers to in the comments plus anything else that resonates with you that you want to share:
How has the Palestinian resistance and their unrelenting, steadfast courage in the fight for collective liberation inspired you? How has Palestine freed you in the last few months? What changes have you come about in your day-to-day life and relationships? How have your priorities changed when it comes to your wants, needs and aspirations? What realizations have you come to that will change the trajectory of your choices and actions moving forward? If the brave, selfless people on the frontlines of these battles against colonialism could hear you— what would you want them to know?
Over 30,000 Palestinians were brutally annihilated, carpet bombed, burned, slaughtered while millions more have been insidiously starved, mutilated, tortured and displaced. Brown, Black, poor, marginalized bodies have been piling up in the billions from Palestine to Congo to Sudan to Kashmir to Turtle Island— will we make it matter? Will I let their massacres, sacrifices, martyrdom go in vain? Or at the very least— will I let them drive my growth, transformation and dedicate myself to the struggle for liberation? For however long I have left.
Our lesson from this is that we need to face our bs, work past our self-centered fears in community and start making some real, tangible, material sacrifices for the cause of liberation. We need to divest from the individualistic chase of success, wealth, status, and comfort to make way for real communal joy, contentment and purpose that only comes with facing the struggle. Are we really doing everything we can? Or are we making excuses because we are so scared to lose our privileged place on the ladder? How well is that privilege really serving us when we spend each day isolated and severed from the very things we need to make life worth living? Are we willing to do what must be done for us to be free? Around the world, there are countless people who are resisting the worst forms of colonial violence, caring for each other thru it all, living/ dying for liberation, fighting to preserve the things that make life matter- for ancestral traditions, for culture, for community. How can we be a part of this joint struggle for life?
Living for the collective, for liberation, is the point of life
The desire, devotion and dedication to care for the collective is a greater purpose that many people are so estranged and severed from, especially in the most capitalist/ colonial societies that encourage individualism, narcissism, competition, domination and loneliness. Is it so unfathomable that people are willing to wholly dedicate themselves to collective liberation? If it is, then I ask, what are you living for? What else is the point of life exactly if not to care for each other and the land? That is why plants, microbes, all beings in our ecosystem exist. Their existence is critical to the sustainable survival of the entire ecosystem. What else could possibly be the reason for your and my existence if not for us to do our part in building a world where people, the land, our ecosystems are free to live with dignity? I am here because you are here and we are here to care deeply. In the process, we will be cared for.
I find it ridiculous and infuriating that some people are fixated on critiquing Aaron’s actions saying things like “he would be more useful alive” while others are turning him into a cautionary tale to dissuade people considering suicide/ self-immolation. Maybe giving hot takes, passing judgments or focusing on telling other people to do or not to do something is actually a whole lot easier than being honest with yourself and confronting your own fears around what has prevented you from dedicating YOUR life to the struggle for liberation. Maybe it is terrifying for some to imagine living and dying for something bigger than themselves. But the alternative is quiet frankly more horrifying.
People don’t decide to light themselves on fire for a cause overnight and they most certainly will not be dissuaded by some pathetic, half-a**ed social media post warning against it while dropping a “suicide hotline” that points them towards violent carceral systems and the police for “help”. If you want people to live, then the best, most useful, helpful thing you can do is ACT and figure out what your role is in contributing to the safety & survival of people & our ecosystems, including those that are most oppressed. Patronizing advice does not help, actions do. Daily acts of community care not only save lives but give people the material support and care that they need TO live.
You want people to not self-immolate? Dedicate yourself to the cause they died ablaze for. You want people to not kill themselves? Help tangibly build a world that gives people the right to live. Fight like hell for collective liberation. Think about what work you need to do to let go of the illusions keeping you tethered to the values of the empire like success, independence, self-indulgent self-centered self-care, self-obsession, self-optimization, productivity for the sake of self-advancement. Stop climbing the ladder to hell. Stop building your life on top of the exploitation and graves of those with less privilege, resources and/or luck. And I say this for myself too because I too am having a difficult time addressing my own bs that has kept me from dedicating more of my daily life to the struggle.
You want people to not kill themselves? Do something, anything, to join the struggle for liberation. Take a step in that direction. Stop reacting and move forward with intention and care, in community. I don’t need a 24/7 hotline that uses geolocation to send cops to institutionalize me against my will (or at worst, kill me), I need liberation. There is no pill or medical intervention under colonial medicine that can give me that. I don’t need people to remind me that not killing myself is in fact an option. No s**t. I need liberation. We need liberation. And when we commit to the struggle and actively pursue our role in it, we can access liberation in pieces & moments in our relationships, despite the viciousness of these empires.
Another thing— Aaron did not self-immolate for Joe Biden and other futile, completely useless, depraved politicians to notice. He did it for the people to notice. This is not about appealing to the violent empires that are by design incapable of a moral conscience. I do not write to get people in authority to notice me and give me a gold star. I do it for you. I do it for people I don’t know that I am hoping to connect with on any level. I do not organize to beg politicians, celebrities and the rich to “do something”, I organize so we can build the capacity and community networks to do something and take action ourselves. The more we do for each other, the more we regain agency, in each moment of intentional community care. The more we focus on each other and less on garnering approval of the empire, the free-er we will be.
Any moment of the day we spend thinking about what we can do for the people and not the system is a moment of defiance. Any form of defiance or rebellion will be met with efforts to suppress it, pathologize it as a biological defect/ abnormality/ illness and demonize it. If you are doing this right, you will be valued dearly by those who matter and hated by the colonial/ capitalist systems killing us and by those who hold their reigns. The Palestinian resistance are labeled terrorists/ animals/ barbaric savages. Aaron was mentally disturbed. Countless rebels, revolutionary freedom fighters, across space & time, have been smeared for weakening the infrastructure of the empire, for inspiring more people to do the same, and for catalyzing hope in the dead of the night. And are any of us “well” under systems that exploit us and deprive us of the right to live? Mad are those who rebel and struggle against these systems. Insane are those who question the status quo. Diseased are those whose health is wrecked by colonial/ capitalist systems. Don’t argue about who is and isn’t mentally ill, step back and question the entire damn premise of who is categorized as ill/ mad/ insane/ abnormal, who has the power to decide what is and isn’t normal and who benefits from such bioessentialist categories.
You will arrive at “fork in the road” moments over & over & over again. I know because I have. So many moments where I was faced with the option of either taking the path of the struggle, the righteous but arduous path, OR taking the path of conformity, assimilation and individualism- the more familiar, seemingly simpler path. I have chosen wrong sometimes and a part of me knew this was not the way. Everyday, I am faced with tough choices I feel like I am not ready to make but what am I holding back for? What if I thought more about building relationships that would equip us all better to make these rebellious choices? What is the alternative? What else is the point of life if not to love deeply, care with devotion, make mistakes, learn from each other, stumble, fall, kill our egos, get back up, dust it off, try again, fight with resolve, steadfastness, through the guilt & the shame, despite the fears & insecurities, because what else does being alive look like? This is a fight for our souls.
And I know it can be lonely, especially in the west. It’s hard being in the belly of the beast. We are surrounded by systems that have a tight noose around our necks. So many of us have to spend a good chunk of our day being forced to act like we are not enraged about oppression or affected by it, trying to put on a face, power through it or simply wrecked by it. Small talk after small talk, swallowing our grief, spending too much time in our heads, chore to chore, with a lot of pretending in between. But, you are in good company. Even if it may not be obvious, there are millions, if not billions of people around the world that are with Palestine and therefore, with you. Seek connection unabashedly. Intentionally get to know people and think about the conversations you need to have, the soil you need to lay to get to understand another human being, their struggles, hopes, fears and dreams of collective liberation. I say this as a reminder for myself too. We have to approach relationships more intentionally and be willing to care, give and build rather than waiting for the right ones to simply fall in our laps.
If given the choices, I would much rather have a short life where I desperately sought connection, built real community, found purpose in caring for others & served my role in the collective struggle, however small… rather than a long, lonely, discontent life where I lived for nothing more than myself, seeing everyone and everything else as a tool to get my “needs met”, accumulating & hoarding to fill the emptiness in me, not realizing that I was running from the very things I needed to survive, turning away from the carnage naively thinking such self-centeredness would one day pay off- can we even call that living? Or is it existing aimlessly & waiting to die? Without ever having truly felt a great love like the love for community, land and liberation? What happens to our soul when we repeatedly choose apathy and indifference? To what end? Living and dying for liberation is an act of love, love for the planet, love for our communities. And I want to live for this love— relentlessly, until my last breath.
“The bravery of Palestine’s resistance fighters is the stuff of legends. With light armament, men in knock-off Adidas track suits and flip flops are successfully blowing up one Israeli tank after another, taking more and more prisoners, and outsmarting the most celebrated Israeli and U.S. military minds. Unsurprisingly, social media giants, which are heavily influenced by Zionist agendas, have banned users from posting these videos, as they clearly prove the gross underreporting of Israeli military losses.
But that matters little now. There is nothing Israel can do to stem the tide of its losses. It is not merely the material losses of life or economic devastation, nor the massive loss of confidence and credibility in the world. Rather, the Israelis lost their humanity. What remains before the world’s eye is the soulless shell of a grotesque killing machine that can apparently do nothing but murder, destroy and terrorize wholesale…
The price Palestinians are forced to pay is unfathomable, and it is being borne with an equally incomprehensible steadfastness, deep faith, dignity and humility that should make the world weep with shame. Because of them and the brave Palestinian resistance, the world will never be the same again. The Qassam Brigades launched a battle for the liberation of our homeland, and in doing so, they are awakening and freeing us all.
No matter how many more people Israel slaughters or how much it steals or bombs, there is no denying its defeat. Israel cannot continue to live by its sword. Either Israel renounces its supremacist exclusionary Zionist ideology and integrates into Palestinian society and the region as equals rather than lords, or it will face a far greater, more determined and uncompromising resistance that will eventually destroy it completely as it has tried to destroy us. We will never forget.”
— Susan Abulhawa in article titled “Palestine’s resistance has already won in Gaza”
Are we willing to be brave? What are we willing to sacrifice to be free? Are we doing everything we possibly can do to serve the collective struggle for liberation? Or are we going to live hollow, meaningless, unfulfilling, empty lives of complicity, complacency, & silence? You see, there is no other way. The only path to happiness is by dedicating your life to the struggle for collective liberation. So, it’s okay. Fall apart. Grieve. Lash out. Rage. Then, dust it off, pull it together, hold each other up. We have work to do.
With care,
ಆಯಿಷಾ
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.— Dylan Thomas
i love that you named our alienation and loneliness and remind us that billions are with us— i literally cried. billions. i’m so tired of being in pretend community, I have to suppress my myself as to not invite the rage of propaganda and moralism and white supremacy. if i hear one more person say hamas did this to their people, i might collapse. walking among the living dead has been a tell. mental illness— madness has told on itself— it’s a weapon. the empire is sick and we are watching it eat itself. deadened just enough to be numb. it’s posts like this that bring me back to my body. i leave my head and the tears come. free palestine.
"I do not write to get people in authority to notice me and give me a gold star. I do it for you."
I paused here, and this resonated loudly like a bell for some reason.
I sometimes think the best things we ever do are like this; things we do for someone we never know. They are somehow the most true.
So, as others have already commented, thank you for writing, for helping me to think and grow and feel less alone and insane in this terrifying world.